This is a preview of this week’s Savage Love. The full version is now exclusively available on Dan’s website, savage.love.
I am a 40 year old female, cis-het. I have very demanding tastes in men and I always end up alone. A way to be more open without sacrificing my standards?
Either you’ve had a terrible streak of bad luck — assuming you’ve dated more than ten men — or you’ve set your standards incredibly high. Some food for thought: You may think you want a long-term relationship because you’ve been told that’s what you’re supposed to want – you’ve been told that’s what all good people want – but you actually don’t want a long-term relationship. They don’t make you happy. But instead of telling yourself that you’re a good person who prefers short-term relationships and/or being alone, you’ve set your standards so high — you’ve sabotaged them — because you want to be alone. And instead of owning that about yourself, you find fault with the men you date. PS There is no installing without installing.
Is there a way to enjoy anal while having a hemorrhoid?
No, sorry. You have to wait for it to heal.
I am a 36 year old male. If I’m too horny to stay hard for (extremely rare) anal sex with my wife, should I just take Viagra?
Well, that depends. Does your wife like long anal sex sessions? If the answer to this question is yes, then Viagra could help you. Because in addition to helping you get hard and stay hard, Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs can delay orgasm. But if your wife doesn’t like long anal sex sessions — if she generally wants you to hurry up and get the ass fucked — going longer could make those already rare anal sex sessions even rarer. Maybe try a cock ring instead?
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Any tips to help a penis wearer last longer when penetrating other than cock rings? (Cock rings are great, but they don’t help with longevity.)
Cock rings are awesome; I recommended them to another reader five seconds ago. But while a snug but not too tight cock ring can help keep a penis wearer’s penis hard by gently restricting blood flow out of the penis wearer’s penis, cock rings do not “last longer”, for example, they do not delay ejaculation. (Cockring 101: Gentle restriction is good; trapping blood in the penis is not. Cockrings should fit snugly, not tightly.) If you’ve ever tried all the standard advice for treating premature ejaculation (that I’ve covered it before and don’t have the space to re-re-re-repeat in a Quickies column), an ED drug like Viagra might help (for the reasons mentioned above); a low-dose SSRI is also an effective treatment for premature ejaculation.
PS Whenever someone writes “penis-have”, my slightly dyslexic brain reads “penis-halver”, as in, someone cutting a penis in half – which some people in the body modification community have done, and bon appetit to anyone brave enough to do an image search on Google.
For those who like to fuck outdoors while hiking and camping…should we be wary of trail cameras or GoPros lurking in trees for some reason? How to spot them?
If people are doing this – if people are hiding cameras on popular hiking trails – well, you should beware indeed. Walk the beaten track, don’t fuck on it.
An ex-boyfriend frequents trans prostitutes. Should I tell his current wife IF an opportunity to do so should arise? And it will be, because we live on a small island. I wanted to know if we were still together. Shouldn’t she be offered the same?
If you really live on a small island – small enough that everyone knows everyone’s business but big enough to have more than one trans sex worker – then your ex-boyfriend’s wife will find out sooner or later. late. But even if that means she finds out a bit later, it would be better if she found out from someone other than you. Assuming your ex’s wife doesn’t already know and approve, if the bearer of bad news is a bitter ex – or someone who can easily be seen as such – your ex-boyfriend will have a lot easier to convince his wife that this is the case. it’s true. Better she find out from the vicar.
I’m a gay boy in the big city and I want to start doing sex work on the side. But I don’t know where to start. First steps?
First steps: Get vaccinated against monkeypox, hepatitis A and B, and HPV, and take PrEP. Then talk with other people who do or have done sex work. There are a lot of sex workers on Twitter; most are not there to solicit clients, but to advocate for them and build community. Follow and learn.
I met a guy who is very good at giving me multiple orgasms, but I have a hard time getting him to cum. No advice?
If he doesn’t want to come, don’t force him. No problem. But if he doesn’t come because you want him to cum with your own hand, pussy or mouth and he can’t come that way, then there’s a problem here, and it’s you. Give him permission to enjoy oral and PIV and all the things you both love before ending with the same skilled hands he uses to make you cum. Problem solved.
What is the best lube for anal sex with sensitive skin?
We are huge Spunk fans. Full disclosure: It’s not a paid endorsement, but the last time I mentioned Spunk in a column, they sent me a case. That was years ago…and we’re almost out of it. Cough cough.
We often talk about warning signs/red flags with naughty Doms. And the submarines?
No one should play with…
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