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I have a question about choking. Or should it be a simulated choking? I recently discovered that being pinned down by my neck turns me on immensely. I like the feeling of being dominated and controlled, and of feeling the force of my partner on this part of my body. I’m much more interested in that feeling than in breath control or oxygen deprivation. I read about choking because I try to make sure I can be manhandled in the way I like as safely as possible. However, all choking advice is about how dangerous choking is. But most advice focuses on the dangers of restricting oxygen (which isn’t my focus) or damaging the trachea by putting pressure on the front of the throat (which my partners avoid). So my question is… how dangerous is this kind of simulated choking game really? Playing where a person is held by the throat with only light pressure? What can we do to make it as safe as possible? I struggle to come up with good answers, and given how wet my pussy is, abstaining from this activity is not an option for me.—please i need more expertise
“Choking and other forms of breathing games were very rare,” said Dr. Debby Herbenick. “But over the past decade, choking has become extremely common, especially among those under 40.”
Dr. Herbenick is a professor in the Indiana University School of Public Health, a prolific and widely published sex researcher, and the author of numerous books, including The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Way to Better Sex Through Exercise. A few years ago, Dr. Herbenick’s students began asking him questions about choking, with some sharing harrowing stories of choking by sexual partners without their consent. There was very little data on choking, which was all over the porn sites, and this inspired Dr. Herbenick and a few colleagues to undertake the first serious and scientifically rigorous studies of sexual choking.
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Disturbingly, Dr. Herbenick found that many people, mostly men, smother their partners during sex without discussing it first. That means they weren’t establishing mutual interest, they weren’t getting enthusiastic, unambiguous consent, and they weren’t discussing the inherent risks and how to minimize them. (Minimize ≠ eliminate.) Many weren’t even aware of the risks, which makes sense given the lack of research on choking (and, again, why Dr. Herbenick researched this now common practice ).
“The reason so many sites say choking is dangerous is because it is dangerous,” Dr. Herbenick said. “This is not a scare tactic. Although rare, people do occasionally die from choking, which is technically a form of strangulation, and people have gone to jail for accidentally injuring or killing a partner during a consensual choking.
Most people who have experienced choking describe the act as “consensual, wanted, and pleasurable,” according to Dr. Herbenick’s research. Which raises another concern: the false sense of security many have about it.
“Because most people experience choking without any obvious negative repercussions, they often think they’re doing it ‘safe’, and that may not be the case,” Dr. Herbenick said. “And because people sometimes choke frequently, there can be cumulative effects on the brain, in other words, negative effects that accumulate over time rather than from a single incident. of suffocation. Cumulative incidents are difficult to notice as they occur. However, even slight pressure on the neck/throat is likely to reduce the oxygen supply to the brain, as it involves the compression of blood vessels. The types of cumulative effects that may occur include a greater likelihood of depression, anxiety, ringing in the ears, headaches, and memory problems, among others, although we need more research to to be sure.
So, is there a safe way to create the feeling of being choked – or stuck by the neck – without risk?
“Some people who are choking but don’t want to take those risks have their partner press lightly against their collarbone but not against their throat,” Dr. Herbenick said. “And PINME is right that any pressure in the front of the throat is particularly risky, given the trachea’s vulnerability to injury. Other people decide to ask their partner to choke them anyway but rarely, so reduce the likelihood of cumulative risk.
Of course, consent to a sexual practice as risky as choking only makes sense if everyone involved is fully informed of the risks. Someone who asks to be choked – when someone like you, PINME, asks to be choked during sex – has a duty to fully inform their partner of the risks they face.
“It’s not fair to put someone in the position of doing something that could accidentally hurt or kill you, and potentially holding them criminally or legally liable, without fully understanding the risks they are taking. “, said Dr. Herbenick. “That said, adults can consent and opt for all sorts of risky things: flogging, barebacking, sex with strangers, unprotected vaginal intercourse after missing a week’s worth of birth control pills, skydiving, rock climbing and various water sports. Whatever risky activity we enjoy, whether it involves sex or not, we need to learn more about the potential risks, think about potential harm reduction strategies, and proceed with caution.
And what would harm reduction and/or worst-case scenario reduction strategies look like with respect to erotic suffocation?
“If light pressure is used, make sure she can breathe fully, speak, have a safe word AND gesture – in case she loses the ability to speak – and that her desire for light pressure –very slight pressure – is clearly understood by his partner,” said Dr. Herbenick. “Additionally, if PINME begins to experience visual changes, lightheadedness, lightheadedness, or euphoria, this suggests that she is likely experiencing lower oxygen levels and potential neurological effects.”
And this is definitely a time when you’ll want to use your security word or gesture, PINME, while you still can.
You can follow Dr. Debby Herbenick on Twitter @DebbyHerbenick and learn more about her research on choking, sexual pleasure, communication and the use of vibrators and more, on her website: www.debbyherbenick.com.
I am a 23 year old gay boy and my best friend is a straight girl my age. She likes to say that we share everything about our love lives but…
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