Q: What exactly leads to erectile dysfunction? I’m living it now, but I’ve always been a superstar. I also have the problem of premature ejaculation, where I release immediately after entering. Is there a solution for this?
A: I would be remiss if I did not start with this: you are another superstar. Your penis isn’t – or shouldn’t – be the only thing you bring to the table during sex.
That said, it is of course horrible, frustrating, heartbreaking, sad, shitty and just plain annoying when your body doesn’t work the way you want it to at all times, but especially during sex.
As cliché as this is to assure you, I want you to know that you’re a lot less alone than you probably think – you’re not an anomaly. According to two doctors I interviewed in 2020, the percentage of people with erectile dysfunction is about the same as the age group they are in. So about 60% of 60-year-olds and 20% of 20-year-olds, for example. Is it correct ? Nope! Absolutely not. But if you consider that, and we’re assuming you’re not a 13 year old, that means you’re watching at least 1 in 5 people with non-functioning penises from time to time. (Or always.) And premature ejaculation often follows erectile dysfunction – because why wouldn’t your body refuse to cooperate in more than one way instead of just one? Basically, people with erectile dysfunction often go into a pattern of subconsciously trying to cum quickly for the duration of their erections, which then causes their body to try to cum quickly.
Now, what causes erectile dysfunction? Well, there are many things that can lead or at least contribute to erectile dysfunction, and you could have a combination of them. Despite the popular view that erectile dysfunction is about performance anxiety, doctors have found that erectile dysfunction is more often caused by organic factors – think cardiovascular problems, diabetes or medications – rather than factors. psychogenics such as anxiety or depression. In fact, a new case of erectile dysfunction is very important to get checked out by a doctor for this reason. Many cases of erectile dysfunction are caused by vascular (blood flow) problems, which may portend something more serious health-wise. I’m not saying this to scare you, but to let you know that even if it makes you uncomfortable, it’s something to talk to a doctor about.
Besides being a sign of a potential health problem, I strongly urge (I beg you) to seek medical attention, as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation can be treated. Will this be an easy fix where you will never have problems again? No, probably not! But there are tons of things you and your doctor can try, most of which are at least somewhat successful in fixing the problem, and almost all of which are incredibly safe. For erectile dysfunction, the first-line treatments are usually lifestyle changes (booo, we all hate that!) and then pills like Viagra or Cialis – PDE5 blockers for the chemistry nerds. For premature ejaculation, again, your doctor will look at your lifestyle and medical history and then likely make suggestions, but you can also use products like delay sprays and wipes, which are incredibly safe and fairly easy to overcome. counter.
There aren’t many downsides to telling your doctor, other than minor, momentary discomfort from telling a stranger about your problems. Please keep in mind that you are negotiating this the boredom of having to talk to a medical professional about something for the boredom of dealing with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. A very good compromise, IMO! (If you’re not the kind of person who gets nervous about talking to doctors, then great! You’ve got a head start!)
Going back to the beginning, I want to remind you that even if you absolutely must see a doctor and remedy it because of the aforementioned health risks, you can still be an absolute virtuoso in the bag without the emphasis on this what your body does or does not do. The more honest and direct you are with your partner(s), the better. Granted, it’s not a fun conversation, but it will lead to better times for both of you. You can say something like “Sometimes my dick doesn’t exactly cooperate with what I have in mind, but these things make me feel really good…” or just ask what you want – “Can we try this position ?” “Can I get down on you?” “How about we try this? The good Lord invented mouths and hands for a reason! You might not be able to cum whenever you want or stay hard as long as you want, but there’s more to sex than that. It’s about feeling good. Do what feels good to you and do your best to leave shame or doubt at the door.
It’s A Pleasure appears here every Thursday. If you have a sex, dating or relationship question, email Sophia at [email protected] or fill out this form.