Eminem – The Real Slim Shady lyrics

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“Eminem – The Real Slim Shady Lyrics”

[Intro]
Can I have your attention please?
Can I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We’re going to have a problem here…

[Verse 1]
You act like you’ve never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just broke in the door
And started kicking his ass worse than before
First they divorced, throwing her on the furniture (Agh!)
It’s the return of “Oh wait, no way, you’re kidding
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?
And Dr. Dre said…nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Dre is dead, he’s locked up in my basement (Ha ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
“Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I’m sick of him
Watch him walk around, catch his you-know-what
Flippin’ you-know-who,” “Yeah, but he’s so cute anyway”
Yeah, I probably got some screws in my head
But no worse than what happens in your parents’ room
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let go
But I can’t, but it’s cool for Tom Green to bump a dead moose
“My butt is on your lips, my butt is on your lips”
And if I’m lucky, you might give her a little kiss
And that’s the message we give to little children
And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is
Of course they will know what sex is
By the time they reached the fourth grade
They have the Discovery Channel, don’t they?
We’re nothing but mammals – well, some of us cannibals
Who opened the others like cantaloupes
But if we can work dead animals and antelopes
So there’s no reason a man and another man can’t run away
But if you feel what I feel, I have the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it’ll—

[Chorus]
I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yeah, I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Verse 2]
Will Smith don’t have to swear in his raps to sell records (No)
Well, yes, then fuck him and fuck yourself too!
You think I don’t care about a GRAMMY?
Half of you critics can’t even stand me, let alone stand me
“But Slim, what if you win, wouldn’t that be weird?”
Why, then you could just lie to get me here?
So can you sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Damn, Christina Aguilera better change my chair
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue who she gave head first
Little slut blew me on MTV
“Yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to Kim, hee-hee”
I should download his audio to MP3
And show the world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh!)
I’m sick of you little groups of girls and boys
All you do is annoy me, so I was sent here to destroy you
And we’re a million like me
Who swears like me, who doesn’t care like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And that might be the next best thing, but not quite me

[Chorus]
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yeah, I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yeah, I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Verse 3]
I’m like a head turn to listen, ’cause I’m just giving you
Things you joke about with your friends in your living room
The only difference is that I have the balls to say it in front of y’all
And I ain’t gotta be fake or fake at all
I just grab the mic and spit it out
And if you like to admit it, I just shit it
Over ninety percent of you rappers can
So you wonder, “How can kids eat these albums like Valiums?”
It’s funny, because at the rhythm, I’m going, when I’m thirty
I’ll be the only person in the retirement home to flirt
Pinch nurse asses when jerking off with Jergens
And I jerk off, but this whole bag of Viagra don’t work
And every person is a Slim Shady hiding
He could work at Burger King, spit on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, driving around, shouting “I don’t care!”
With her windows down and her system up
So the real Shady, please stand up
And put one of those fingers on every raised hand?
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
And again, as loud as possible, how does it go?

[Chorus]
I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yeah, I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yeah, I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yeah, I’m the real Shady
All the other Slim Shadys just imitate
So won’t the real Slim Shady get up
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Outro]
Ha ha, I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
Damn, let’s all get up!

[Produced by Dr. Dre & Mel-Man]

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